•8:05 PM
It's been ages since I wrote anything... And I mean write... Not just blog :-) It's not that I have a case of the writer's / blogger's block... Thoughts teem in my head... Stay there awhile, patiently hoping to be captured... And then one fine day.... Whoosh....................... They drift away untracked, to territories uncharted...
It makes me wonder, how it is that certain thoughts simply don't stay the course with us, while those we would sooner forget stay entrenched...
Negative thoughts, thoughts and emotions that make one feel sad, morose or distressed... Why is it that these thoughts have so much power over us that they do not seem to even reduce in intensity??? Such thoughts for me are as crystal clear, today as they were when they actually came up... A thought which I had when in PU, almost 10+ years ago, still evokes in me the same rush of intense emotions - almost always negative and debilitating - today... The thought still being as clear today as then...
It is not that I have been brooding all along on these thoughts... However, when faced with a difficult situation all the negative thoughts in my mind's arsenal come to the fore, with the single point agenda of confusing / confounding / distressing me more than ever . . . The harder I try to escape these thoughts, the sooner they find me...
Pleasant thoughts on the contrary, seem to vanish away all too fast . . . Compliments, adulation, praise, a heartfelt wish, gratitude . . . I never seem able to call them all to the fore to battle the stronger negative thoughts . . .
And once the difficult situation is past, I have no trouble recalling all the pleasant thoughts :-) The rush of emotions they bring along though, is a pale imitation of the initial rush . . . :-( It feels more like a memory resurfacing after ages . . .
How I wish that the power to recall my thoughts were not wired this way :-(
"Thoughts define the man" . . . . . I wonder how I can define myself, being the recipient of this weird thought wiring system . . .
It makes me wonder, how it is that certain thoughts simply don't stay the course with us, while those we would sooner forget stay entrenched...
Negative thoughts, thoughts and emotions that make one feel sad, morose or distressed... Why is it that these thoughts have so much power over us that they do not seem to even reduce in intensity??? Such thoughts for me are as crystal clear, today as they were when they actually came up... A thought which I had when in PU, almost 10+ years ago, still evokes in me the same rush of intense emotions - almost always negative and debilitating - today... The thought still being as clear today as then...
It is not that I have been brooding all along on these thoughts... However, when faced with a difficult situation all the negative thoughts in my mind's arsenal come to the fore, with the single point agenda of confusing / confounding / distressing me more than ever . . . The harder I try to escape these thoughts, the sooner they find me...
Pleasant thoughts on the contrary, seem to vanish away all too fast . . . Compliments, adulation, praise, a heartfelt wish, gratitude . . . I never seem able to call them all to the fore to battle the stronger negative thoughts . . .
And once the difficult situation is past, I have no trouble recalling all the pleasant thoughts :-) The rush of emotions they bring along though, is a pale imitation of the initial rush . . . :-( It feels more like a memory resurfacing after ages . . .
How I wish that the power to recall my thoughts were not wired this way :-(
"Thoughts define the man" . . . . . I wonder how I can define myself, being the recipient of this weird thought wiring system . . .
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5 comments:
I felt like really hugging you tight after reading this post :(
I could very well associate with what you have expressed.. I strongly feel it is more to do with the way we have been brought up since childhood(the sedimentations are so strong to challenge) Try n break-free..!
@ Nuthan: I disagree that our upbringing has any impact on this... 'Coz you would hardly find any siblings who are completely alike in this respect...
Well exceptions are always there... but it's very much true in my case atleast, my childhood has influenced in every possible way to shape up my current character/behaviour.. which is a bliss in many ways... but then it's also a challenge to accommodate my 'acquired knowledge'
I think its very human to stick on to the negative thoughts. Sometimes, it adds as experience to face the future, sometimes we just have to let go...