Associations . . . Every memory has an equally if not more indelible association ... Is it any wonder then that though the memories can be held at bay, any small association opens the gates for a roaring flood to sweep you back again???

Are these associations stronger for the more painful memories??? Those memories that you would love to push away into a corner you are unaware of at a conscious level ??? The memories that you recall in moments of solitude... In the depths of despair...

I do not know how to push away memories into a corner... I do not know if I could try to learn that... What I would like to learn though is the 'art of dis-association' . . .

Maybe then I would not have to relive all my memories... Maybe then I could find some acceptance...

Maybe then I could take a teeny-weeny step to move ahead... With a heart filled with one more locked door . . .